Har har.

There is this customer that frequents our store who gave me the opportunity to laugh today. She's an older black lady with a heavy 'south side' accent. She is one of the rudest people I know. I would say that eighty seven percent of the time that she comes into the store she had beforehand called the store and had us do her shopping for her. Probably thirty two percent of that time she comes in the store herself to pick up the products, and the rest of the time she is so lazy that she has her grandson, equally as rude and even more unhappy, walk to the store to buy the products.

Now, I am so fed up with this place. They have screwed me here and there, and as much pleasure as I've gotten out of it I am still unhappy. I'm female. I will never be completely satisfied. When the opportunity arose to have some fun today, I just grabbed that brownish area by it's points and I didn't let it go, no matter what my mom said!

I had just dealt with an angry customer who could not read her receipt because she figured it would read itself to her and was a bit upset. When the phone rang, I picked up the receiver and said, "Dollar General, Spoon speaking."

A very recognizable voice then asked, "Do you carry honey?"

"I'm sorry, do we carry what?"

"Honey."

"Carny?"

"Honey."

"Chunny?"

I didn't do it on purpose the first time. She was actually adding an 'arrr' like a pirate sound when she was saying honey and I was completely confused, and now that I've written this out I realize that you'd have to be there and you'd have to be me to find this funny. It was though. She was so pissed off. That went on for two or three more words and I finally gave in and told her we carry the product. I then proceeded to give her the wrong price because I wasn't going to walk all the way up to the front of the store for someone that doesn't deserve any courtesy.

I just missed Forks favorite Axe commercial.

I get the weekend off so I will be partying all weekend. Oh sweet, that means I get to watch the Saturday night Disney movie tomorrow! It's been too long. Adios, amigos.

As you may know, the Great Spoon works at a dollar store somewhere around that random place you'd point to when you spin a globe and randomly stab your finger down on a country. Recently we have lost a lot of employees; or should I say that the amount of employees we have has fluctuated so much in the past few months that it's as if we never hired anyone new at all. I wish I had a graph. I don't so I will just throw some numbers out there...lies. I will make my own weird graph thing.

|||||||||||| - July
|||||||||| - August
||||||||||| - September
|||||||||| - October
||||||||| - November
|||||| - December

That is so completely inaccurate.

As of January it seems there will only be five of us. Our boss is leaving which makes the original team five people. There are two newbies who have been all but present. Jughead**, the most entertaining individual we've had in quite a while, is the person of topic today. Scheduled at 2:30 he showed up at 2:09 thinking he was nine minutes late. When the boss and I informed him that he was actually early he retreated to the back of the store to warm up and relax before his shift began. While in the back, he and I talked a bit about Christmas and I gave him a little present. He looked at his schedule and stood around while I counted down his drawer.

About three minutes before his shift would begin he told me that he needed to run to his car to retrieve his name tag. He's generally a forgetful guy. I forget my name tag all the time too. I said 'okay' and watched as he headed to the front of the store and out the door. After about five minutes I headed to the front of the store with his freshly counted drawer to see the big boss standing up front staring out the front window. Interesting, I said to myself. She laughed and said, "I don't know where Jughead went. He said he was going to his car to get his tag and he pulled out and left." I suggested that maybe he was getting a better parking space. "No, he was parked next to your car and now his car is gone. That is just bizarre." Indeed it was. My spot was the very first spot directly in front of the store, the closest you can get. Where on earth could he have gone?

Ten minutes later I clocked out and left. My shift was done and that's all I cared about. About two hours later I received a call from the MOD of the next shift. "Any chance you can come in tonight?" Apparently, Jughead never showed up again. He never called, never answered their calls to him; he just vanished.

We have had five or six no call/no shows that have up and quit with no warning in the past three months. As I was discussing with another key holder, you'd think that with the economy the way it is these people would stay here. Can it be that bad? And, if it is, what is so wrong with us that we are still there? It is definitely not a wonderful restaurant. I did learn my lesson though. Don't give anyone their Christmas presents until after they've put their hours in.

** Names have been changed to protect the identity of certain idiots that would not be able to protect themselves if someone went after a stupid person in their family.

There once was a man named King Nod.
He ruled the country of Thailand.
He was born an epileptic.
He often shook without warning.
He had a servant named Patsy.
He beat Patsy regularly for laughing at his shaking.
One day Patsy asked King Nod if he would like a spinal tap.
King Nod went into an epileptic fit.
Patsy took this as a yes.
He then took a hammer and nail to King Nod's lower spine.
King Nod is now dead.

THE END.