Here we go!

Lock Picks

Redskins at Bengals - Chad Uno continues his quest to be 1-15 and still somehow not be the worst team in football.

Lock Pick - Redskins

49ers at Dolphins - The 49ers surprised everyone by beating the Jets at home this weekend. Certainly they have a chance in Miami, right? No.

Lock Pick - Dolphins

Lions at Colts - Please understand that I singlehandedly could score more points against the Colts than the Lions are going to.

Lock Pick - Colts

Browns at Eagles - Here's a few words your franchise should never have to hear: "Starting at Quarterback, Ken Dorsey!"

Lock Pick - Eagles

The Remaaaiiinnderrrr

Saints at Bears - While I feel in many ways that the Saints may be a more complete team this season, and both teams really need this game...I just don't see New Orleans going into Soldier Field in December and putting up the points needed to win. Bush is hurt, the potential diuretic suspensions are on several players on the Saints minds...I just don't see it.

PICK - Bears

Bucs at Falcons - The NFC South is the best division in football right now. I don't see either of these teams losing two games straight being very likely, but unfortunately, one of them has to. Both teams have been great in all aspects, but like last week with the Bucs and Panthers, it's the home team that gets it.

PICK - Falcons

Titans at Texans - While divisional battles are always hard fought games, Houston has yet again not lived up to the hype. Home or not, they aren't going to beat the Titans.

PICK - Titans

Packers at Jaguars - This game is hard to pick because both teams are phenomenal choke artists. What it boils down to? Which team is an absolute joke on both sides of the ball. Oh! I know!

PICK - Packers

Seahawks at Rams - This game would have mattered two years ago.

PICK - Seahawks

Bills at Jets - I want the Jets to lose. Part of me feels like the Jets won't lose. Both teams have been bad recently. Brett Favre is looking like...Brett Favre. Call it an upset pick, I really don't see the Bills not taking this opportunity to cause some hurt to a hated rival.

PICK - Bills

Chargers at Chiefs - The last game between these two ended in disappointment. The Chiefs went for two to win instead of tie. They didn't get it. Right now, San Diego still has a shot at the playoffs if they win out and the Broncos lose out. I think they will take care of business on the road.

PICK - Chargers

Vikings at Cardinals - This is going to be one hell of a football game. Arizona's passing attack vs. Minnesota's rushing attack. I don't think either one can stop the other. Despite their propensity to prove me wrong recently, I like the Cardinals at home in a shootout, making the NFC North very interesting once again.

PICK - Cardinals

Steelers at Ravens - This is a battle of two great defenses, one boring offense and one way overrated offense. This is one of those games thats like 10-7, or something. I have been thinking Steelers all week, but Vegas has this at -2 Baltimore, and that got me thinking; how the hell are the Steelers going to move the ball against the Ravens? Willie Parker hasn't looked that great recently. Big Ben has looked great against the Ravens in his career...this is a tough one. Let's roll with the home team and Vegas, folks.

PICK - Ravens

Broncos at Panthers - The Broncos starting halfback (their 7th starting halfback this season) was selling cell phones in a local mall a month ago. He is fast as hell, but has fumbling problems. Ball, say hello to ground in Carolina.

PICK - Panthers

Patriots at Radiers - Under normal situations, this would be a lock pick, but Matt Cassel's father died this week. Even if he does return to start, he may be ineffective and we may see Kevin O'Connell; this could be troublesome. The good news? They're playing the fucking Raiders.

PICK - Patriots

Giants at Cowboys - Without Plaxico Burress, the Giants couldn't get a damn thing done last week. The Cowboys have just plain looked bad recently. The rushing attack of the Giants combined with the lack of rushing attack of the Cowboys equals a road win.

PICK - Giants

First week: 11-5
Second week: 7-9
Third week: 12-3

Proving last week to be an aberration, I have returned to dominate. One game short on picks this week because I didn't post before the Thursday night game, but I would have picked the Chargers anyway so suck it (but I still won't count it). Here's the special part: in my second week of lock picks, I go 5-0, bringing the total to 8-0. You can absolutely take my locks to the bank.

Among my losses were two happy ones; both the Jets and the Giants lost to inferior teams today. I am happy to accept those losses.

This was a pretty badass week. I was just about unbeatable. If I hadn't been a lazy dumbass, and posted before the Chargers game, it would have been 13-3. That aside, this was a pretty great week in football.

I'll be sure to actually get the picks up for ALLLLL the games this week. No more "if only I had." I also think, since the basketball season is wiiiiinding down, I'm gonna start posting a few basketball picks. Those are obviously more difficult, with multiple games per day and teams playing multiple times per week, but I'll come up with a system and get it going here within the next few days.

Get your money and bet my picks, because I am ON FIRE.

Week 12 was good. Week 13 was bad. Let's hope for the former. As previously mentioned, since I did not get these up in time for the Chargers-Radiers game, that will be left out (despite the fact that I would have picked the Chargers). To the picks:

Lock Picks (3-0 so far)

Vikings at Lions - An NFL judge this week blocked the Suspensions of Kevin and Pat Williams, among others. What does that mean for this game? The Lions are fucked.

PICK - Vikings

Bengals at Colts - Hey, Chad Ocho Cinco - you should change your name to Chad Uno. Why? That's the number of wins you'll have this season.

PICK - Colts

Browns at Titans - The top two Browns quarterbacks are done for the year. Their special teams return man wants a shot. Other than that, they have Ken Dorsey, who has a phenomenal career QB rating of 63.5. Cue the Jeff George jokes.

PICK - Titans

Patriots at Seahawks - The Seahawks are the best 2-10 team in the NFL!

PICK - Patriots

Rams at Cardinals - For two weeks this year, the Rams were dominating, getting it done on both ends of the field, and winning games. It happened right after Scott Linehan was fired. Time to fire Jim Haslett and hope for the same effect.

PICK - Cardinals

Regular Ol' Picks

Jaguars at Bears - Chicago is fighting for their playoff lives, and the light is starting to fade. Jacksonville sucks. I am still laughing and talking about how right I was about that $60 million David Garrard contract. Suck it, Del Rio.

PICK - Bears

Eagles at Giants - While I hate the Giants and still believe them to be overrated, there is one true fact about the Eagles that outshines all of my disdain for all New York sports franchies - they cannot win a damn game they need, ever.

PICK - Giants

Falcons at Saints - Drew Brees is unstoppable, but the Saints still struggle to win games. The Falcons have been fantastic all year. This is an absolutely tough one to call as I believe the Falcons are the better team, but I have the feeling that the Saints pull this one out at home. Call it a gut instinct.

PICK - Saints

Texans at Packers - It's the battle of two of this season's most disappointing teams. I, like many others, really thought the Matt Schaub move was right for Houston, but it does not appear to be turning out that way. If he doesn't turn it on next season, officially call it a bust - 'til now, he's been hit by so many injuries that it's hard to tell. This game, however, is pretty easy - the Texans just aren't going to win at Lambeau.

PICK - Packers

Dolphins at Bills - This game is an interesting one. Two division rivals, both surprisingly good this year, but the Dolphins are surging as of late while the Bills are fading. The Dolphins are the better team, and the Bills lose some of their home field advantage playing in Toronto. By the way, my Canadian hatreds aside, what the NFL is doing to the Bills by practically forcing them to Toronto is absolutely disgusting. Roger Gooddell has done a few things, but in my book, this is a joke. More on that later.

PICK - Dolphins

Jets at 49ers - This would be a game if the 49ers actually had a complete football team.

PICK - Jets

Chiefs at Broncos - Earlier this year, Kansas City stunned Denver with a win in KC. Despite how bad Denver has been at home, I seriously doubt that will happen again.

PICK - Broncos

Cowboys at Steelers - Marion Barber is out for this game. What does that mean for the Cowboys? Not a damn thing, because they would have lost anyway. Go ahead and start the "BUT LOOK AT HOW WELL TASHARD CHOICE DID" comments.

PICK - Steelers

Redskins at Ravens - Is this really a road game for Washington? These two teams are so close together it doesn't seem to matter. In baseball, the Nationals don't even have their own broadcasting rights for fear of infringing on the Orioles market. That aside, the Ravens have been impressive with QB Joe Flacco, despite the fact that he's not exactly a statistical monster. Credits to first year head coach John Harbaugh for game management. The Ravens D isn't gonna let Campbell do anything.

PICK - Ravens

Buccaneers at Panthers - The winner of this one sits on top of the NFC South. This game to me is absolutely a home team wins game, so it's the Panthers.

PICK - Panthers

Now, onto the Gooddell situation. Moving NFL games to Canada is one thing, but moving an entire team is another. Buffalo has a great, loyal fanbase, but because it is technically a small market it seems the NFL is pressuring the Bills to move. This is ridiculous. They know that Bills fans will continue to go to the games because it's only a couple hour drive over the border to Toronto, while they will be able to edge their way into the Canadian market. I am against this, only because Buffalo does not deserve to have its team forced into a nother country in an attempt to gain broadcasting rights. If they want an expansion team, fine, but don't steal a team because you're all greedy bastards who don't make enough money from your multi-billion dollar industry.

As far as Europe goes, that is fucked up too. Not only do they move games to London, but they also force season ticket holders to pick up tickets at the stadium in London, meaning you can't sell your tickets. Now I know that most people who have season tickets can probably afford to go to London to watch the games, but there are still a lot of people who cannot. Not letting them sell their tickets is absolutely outrageous. Some teams go so far as to force you to pay for Personal Seat Licenses - a fee you pay in order for the right to buy your season tickets. That's right: you pay in order to pay.

I absolutely love to go to the games and watch my team live, but it's getting to a point where it's not worth it. The amount of money you have to spend for good seats is so unbelievable that you might as well buy a recliner and a 60" flat screen and enjoy the game from home on the satellite TV package you bought as opposed to mortgaging your soul for tickets. Football fans do not go to games anymore; marketing reps who won this week's tickets do. People who don't know a damn thing about the game. This is not true in all cases, but it is way too true to be ignored.

Hey, Roger. Do you even care about your fans?

Wooo am I getting my ass kicked right now. Looks like an 7-9 type week for me in picks. And the Patriots got blown out. This week sucks. However, what matters? Lock picks! 3-0 in those. You can take my locks to the bank.

Hellllloooo. After an 11-5 start to my pick season last week (which was unfotunately...well, obviously, late) I return with my Week 13 Picks. These are obviously early, due to the Thanksgiving games tomorrow, but all picks for the week will be here.

People have asked me about how I would bet, and in all honesty, I wouldn't bet all 16 games in any given week (or less depending on byes). I would only bet a certain number of games that I was absolutely confident in my picks, and since I'm sick of using hindsight as a way to determine this ("oh I definitely would have bet on this well no I don't have proof why do you ask?"), I'll be including for the rest of the season my Lock Picks of the Week. These are games that I am absolutely positive about the outcome and would bet quite a bit on them myself (and often will). I will group my Lock Picks first, followed by the remaining picks. There is no set number of games I'll Lock, as in any given week there could be 1 or 5, no one really knows. That being said, Week 13!

Lock Picks

Titans at Lions - Find me someone who doesn't have the Titans as a Lock in this game.
LOCK PICK - Titans

Seahawks at Cowboys - The Seahawks are an absolute mess. Mike Holmgren is done after this season and it seems to me that Matt Hasselbeck is on the downside of a semi-successful career. There's just no way Seattle can get this done, especially on the road.

LOCK PICK - Cowboys

Dolphins at Rams - The Dolphins, despite being shredded by Matt Cassel and co. last week, are still in the AFC playoff hunt. The Rams are abismal in every facet of the game; forget the two game abberation earlier this season, it just doesn't matter anymore. Miami is not going to lose two in a row, not when they have a chance at a monster one season turnaround.

LOCK PICK - Dolphins.

And the rest...

Cardinals at Eagles - Is it Donovan McNabb? Or is it Kevin Kolb? Or...McNabb? Or...Kolb? Pulling Donovan in the middle of a 10-7 game for a guy without any experience, then watching him blow the game, then giving it time and eventually going back to the original starter...yeah. For give me if I have little faith in the Eagles. The Cardinals have the potential to put this one away early, but don't be surprised if they do try and blow it (a la...the Cardinals). But they won't, Andy Reid is just too good at losing.

PICK - Cardinals

49ers at Bills - This game is kind of ridiculous. In both cases, you do not know which team is going to show up. Shaun Hill looked pretty good last week in Dallas, but the 49ers cannot get it done in the Red Zone. Buffalo started out strong, and completely fell apart. I think either of these teams has the potential to blow it up, but because of how good Buffalo looked last week against KC...it's them.

PICK - Bills

Ravens at Bengals - I really did have to think about including this in my Locks, but I didn't for a couple of reasons. For one, the Bengals, despite how terrible they have been, still have the ability to get it done. I know I mocked them last week, but at home, with the Ravens in the playoff hunt, don't think that Ocho Cinco would love to play spoiler, and he can. I don't think he will, but this isn't going to be a runaway win for Baltimore.

PICK - Ravens

Saints at Bucs - I'm pretty sure the majority of pundits are going to have Tampa in this one. Both teams have played some good football the past few weeks, but the Saints showed their stuff on monday. The problem - a short week. However, despite being on the road, and despite the short week, I think the Saints are going to win a close one. Drew Brees is on fire right now, and he absolutely cannot be stopped. I think there will be a lot of scoring in this one, but I look for the Saints to win their third straight.

PICK - Saints

Giants at Redskins - I still don't care what people say, the Giants are overrated. Yes, they are a good team, but they are not as good as advertised. I thought the Cardinals could expose them this week, but they came up short. I look for the same upset this week, by the Skins.

PICK - Redskins

Colts at Browns - This is a tough one. With Brady Quinn out of the fold for the season, I think Cleveland can go back to its previous power. The Colts certainly have looked unstoppable recently, however, so the question remains: will the return of DA be enough to stop the Colts? I have to call the upset in this one. It's just that kind of game.

PICK - Browns

Panthers at Packers - This one is tough. Both of these teams looked pretty bad last week, but the Packers looked so much worst. It's winter in Lambeau, however, and I look for Aaron Rodgers to bounce back and pick up a hard fought win.

PICK - Packers

Falcons at Chargers - All the press in the world about how great your players are means precisely dick when you're as overrated as San Diego.

PICK - Falcons

Broncos at Jets - I hate this game. I need the Jets to lose, but I hate to root for the Broncos. Sadly, I don't think it matters; the Broncos have no ability to stop Jet Favre and not enough ability to stop Kris Jenkins.

PICK - Jets

Steelers at Patriots - Matt Cassel is only the 5th QB in NFL history to pass for back to back 400 yard games. Ben Roethlisberger is repeatedly referred to as "Elite" despite being repeatedly sacked. Every year for the past few, the Steelers are supposed to be the ones who finally stop the Patriots. And they don't.

PICK - Patriots

Chiefs at Raiders - It's the battle of two teams who suck but still managed to beat Denver. I am loving Tyler Thigpen, and I think he is the future in KC. I think he can put up great numbers in Oakland, certainly enough to prevent the massive blowout that occured last time that actually made Oakland look good. Two things matter this week though: Tom Cable taking over the playcalling and finding a way to win in Denver, and Herm Edwards absolutely being unable to win any game ever down the stretch no matter the situation.

PICK - Raiders

Bears at Vikings - This is going to be one hell of a game. The Vikings have an alright passing game, a fantastic running game, an amazing run defense and a so-so pass defense. The Bears have a solid ground game, a solid passing game, and a great defense. This game is pretty evenly matched; I give the edge to the Vikings for one reason: his name is Adrian Peterson. Let's take the Vikings seriously, folks.

PICK - Vikings

Jaguars at Texans - It's the "Who's More Disapointing?!" Bowl. Guess what...it's the Jaguars.

PICK - Texans

That's Week 13. I'll update as we go. You're going to be calling me a visionary for that Browns upset pick.

Update: Post SNF, 10-5. Just one more game tomorrow. Ten and five. Sounds to me like I should leave this website behind and be a gambler, hmm?

Thus far it looks like I'll be 9-5 up to this afternoon's games. Pretty damn good I must say. Couple of big surprises this week, certainly. Looks like you motherfuckers should have gambled with my picks, hmm?

Last year, I did one set of picks on Rumfork. I was way the fuck off and didn't do it again. Rumfork has not been up again until now, but luckily for you gamblers out there (probably just me), my picks this year are better than ever. So since Week 12 kicks off tonight, I'll be tossing out my Week 12 picks, and I will pick for the rest of the season. I'll probably also throw in college football picks, but only for larger games, and I'll toss in basketball picks as well. For the most part, I don't like to pick against the spread because when I bet, I bet winners. So at least for this week, there will be no ATS picks, only winners.

Bengals at Steelers - Chad Ocho Cinco is deactivated; despite the fact that he is insane, he has been improving recently, so this hurts the Bengals "chances." On another note, I bet the Steelers are really scared of a QB who played college ball at Harvard. Lethal, seriously.
PICK: Steelers

Texans at Browns - It's the "We Don't Know How To Close Out A Game" Bowl! Both teams are fighting for any shot at making the playoffs, and both teams are pretty much done. Brady Quinn is slated to start despite his broken finger - this means my man DA (Derek Anderson) will get in and takeover this game. Andre Johnson is having one hell of a season, but I find it hard to believe that the Texans are going to take this one on the road, even with Brady Quinn sucking ass last week and having a broken finger. I think DA gets in this game, wins the shootout, and Braylon Edwards outshines Andre Johnson.
PICK: Browns

Bears at Rams - The only thing I'm afraid of in St. Louis is being murdered.
PICK: Bears

Vikings at Jaguars - Mike Smith leaves for Atlanta - suddenly Atlanta is a powerhouse and Jack Del Rio may be fired for how awful the Jags are. Coincidence? No. It isn't. Minnesota has a not great passing game, but look for that to change next year when current Patriots starter Matt Cassel signs a free agent contract with them, then gets beat down in the Superbowl by my idol Tom Brady. I think this is gonna be a low scoring, grind it out game, with two great running teams, but I like Minnesota in a close one.
PICK: Vikings

Bucs at Lions - Detroit shows up BIGTIME in this one and scores 31. The problem is, Tampa Bay scores 56. I feel bad for Daunte Culpepper; they're going to blame this on him. He is underrated and I'm sick of hearing otherwise.
Pick: Bucs

49ers at Cowboys - I think this one is going to be closer than people would think. Mike Singletary can turn this squad around, and hopefully San Francisco knows this and keeps him on next year. Despite a closer than expected game, I think Romo returns to form slightly, and that's too much for SF to stop.
PICK: Cowboys

Eagles at Ravens - Trouble reigns down on the Eagles when QB Donovan McNabb says he didn't know that the team with more points wins the game. Magic Johnson scolds him.
PICK: Ravens

Bills at Chiefs - This one is interesting. Tyler Thigpen has been absolutely on fire in Kansas City, but they cannot win a game. Buffalo was on fire to start the season, and now they too cannot win a game. If Buffalo wants any shot at getting to the playoffs, they absolutely have to win this game; for the Chiefs, it's a point of pride, and a point of Herm Edwards trying to save his goddamn job. So many Bills are underperforming (on offense, specifically), however, that I just don't see them getting it done in the Sea of Red.
PICK: Chiefs

Patriots at Dolphins - Earlier this season, Ronnie Brown ran for four TDs and also passed for one in the unveiling of that damned wildcat formation. I was depressed because my Patriots lost, but Ronnie Brown won me my first fantasy game. Mixed bag on that one. In either case, the wildcat has been slowed down, and Matt Cassel is developing into a serious starter. This may be biased, but with both teams in a fight for the playoffs, I trust Quiet Bill and the Pats.
PICK: Patriots

Jets at Titans - The Jets are gonna do what? Run on the Titans? Pass on them? Yeah right. Albert Haynesworth will be eating Favre for breakfast. At this point folks, Haynesworth is the MVP of this league. He'll make outstanding Jets DT Kris Jenkins look like a joke.
PICK: Titans

Raiders at Broncos - I hate Denver. I want them to lose every week. They're playing the godawful Raiders. Much to my dismay, this game is already over.
PICK: Broncos

Panthers at Falcons - I like this game a lot. This is a true test of both of these teams. They're both playing solid offense and defense. This is a serious clash of NFC strength, but I give it to Atlanta for two reasons: 1) They're not going to lose after a really tough loss at Denver, 2) Home field.
PICK: Falcons

Redskins at Seahawks - Letting Jim Zorn go and picking Jim Mora as Holmgren's successor was obviously a really great idea. That Seattle Braintrust sure is something.
PICK: Redskins

Giants at Cardinals - Simply put, I think the Giants are overrated. No one is looking at the games they've played and how they've played them, just an inflated record. Arizona exposes the fraud this week.
PICK: Cardinals

Colts at Chargers - Seems that every Chargers game is poorly officiated. Or maybe they just suck? Who knows! Goooo Norv Turner!
PICK: Colts

Packers at Saints - Two teams who really need this one. I am inclined to think that the Packers would win this game because they want to lead the division, and Aaron Rodgers is desperately trying to prove himself. I also feel that the Packers great pass defense could be a major hinderance to Drew Brees. I don't think it matters. I can't see the Saints giving this game up, not at home, not now, not with the season on the line.
PICK: Saints

Well, there you have it. We'll see how I do come Tuesday morning. You can hassle me then.