Rumfork Sages

I prefer European beer. American beer mostly sucks, except Budweiser, which honestly, is alright. It's not great, and I'd like to avoid it if I can but...it is what it is. I wanted beer, and I wanted cheap beer.

So, in the interest of seeing just what I'm like, I'll be writing my thoughts down after each beer. Let's see what happens.

Beer 1 - Just finished the first one. I'm watching Scrubs. I love this show. Dr. Cox is one of my favorite TV characters ever. The way he treats JD is fucking hilarious. The other funny thing is Janitor, and his ad libbing of psycho lines. What a show. I'm partway through beer 2.

Beer 2 - Mmm. I'm actually feeling smooth right now. The fact that I've slept about 1 hour out of the last 24 has to do with this. Also, I don't drink as much anymore, so really...two beers is feeling nice. Scrubs just ended. I'm kind of sad, but now Family Guy is on. Why does my life revolve around TV? Oh, right, because I haven't fucked anyone in a long time, I can't believe I forgot. Cracking beer 3.

Beer 3 - I hate that new Axe commercial about girl approved hair. My response? "if these bitches with huge racks cant get a guy to nut on those double bubbles because of their hair, what choice does a flat chested shallow coporate whore like you have?" Hahaha suck on that skinny bitch with no tits in the commercial. Women are just as shallow as men, end of story. I hate women sometimes, especially my ex. People tell me to get over it...maybe I should. I want some pot and a blowjob and maybe some Del Taco?

Beer 4 - Family Guy is funny as hell. I love a frosty cold beer...too bad these aren't frosty, just cold. I wish I was at a bar. I want to look at some broads and get yelled at for it or something, then be thrown out and beaten up. That'd be so funny. I love my sports teams, and fuck the haters. I need another drink...opening beer 5.

Beer 5 - My friend just called me and assumes I'm mad at her. I'm not. Fucking women.

Beer 6 - I want...some food. But I ate food earlier. I love food. That's why I'm fat. I love chicks too. I want to get mad money, so I can lose mad weight, and get mad chicks, and mad rock it wall if you namean. haha namean. ghetto slang on the interwebs is what its wabout. Fuck tv seriously that 70s show is up next though sweeeeeeet. lets of e's. not lots of e though, i dont do drugs. i really wanna fuck this one girl.

Beer 7 - I love television. I wish I could watch corner gas. that show was funny as fuck but I can't do anything that associates itself with acanda. My fucking self is letting my fucking ex ruin my life. what the hell to that, man? why am i letting that shit happen. i know...because i have a lot of beer. oh fuck...this dude on tv is eating chicken...and some brownies just got brought in. i want chicken and brownies...mmm chicken.

Beer 8 - Sometimes I love my friends...I kinda want a cigar...I definitely want some assssss. And a brownie actually. Chicks love chocolate on their periods. Me too. but not on my period. on my question mark. i was just thinking, you know what, fuck my psychologist, im not an alcoholic, im 22 and I like to drink. so fuck that. ill quit drinking when i meet someone worth quitting over. i want chicken, i know that was in the last one but i still do. a burger or pizza or burrito would suffice but...mostly some spicy ass fried chicken with mashed potatoes and like, corn, some gravy, biscuits...god...im fat but fuck i love food. time for beer 9.

Beer 9 - Man I love my nephews and nieces. I just wanna buy them stuff. They are the best kids in the world. I don't think I could have my own kids...I duno. I'd do anything for my nieces/nephews though. I'd give my life for them. beer 10.

Beer 10 - Holy fuck I am drunk. no one else is awake to talk to me...im listening to music waiting for tv to come on that i dont even really want to watch cuz i want to listen to music. this is always my struggle when drunk/high, music or tv? usually one prevails in some sort of battle and it is the rich choice. i guess i should get drunk and high and listen to music while watching tv so i could just fuck everything up. i want to go on a date. beer 11 time.

Beer 11 - I have friends but I think I fuck them over or something...Because I'm probably not a good friend. holy GOD im drunk

whoa...i just woke up like 15 hours later with an unfinished 12th beer...nice