Rumfork Sages

It has already been over a week since the first of this year and I have stuck to zero of my resolutions. Perhaps that's because I didn't make them. I have a problem with not doing things because I didn't write them down. I'd love it if you could explain that to me. I figure since I have absolutely nothing to do right now I could sit down and focus on what I want to change for the year. Maybe if it's here I'll stick to it?

1. Eat Healthy + Lose Weight
All arguments aside, this is something I want to focus on. I have spent the last four or five months stressing out and eating just whatever garbage I can buy cheap because money has been tight and I haven't felt like paying attention. That is over(lies)! I'm going to cut fast food out completely, unless it's Subway or a Wendy's side salad. I can handle those.

2. Water, Milk, and DG Diet Cola
It seems that ever since I started heavily drinking pop I have gained some unwanted weight that, no matter what I do, will not go away. Why? Because I continue to drink whatever I work off like an idiot. Solution! No more of it. I'm reverting back to my seltzer water stage. It's a little costly at first but it pays off in the end. At forty cents a can I'll be paying just about half of what I would pay per ounce normally, and it will be healthier. WOO.

3. Go To School
Haha, yeah right. Sorry, Mom, I know I promised. With the financial troubles that are afoot I don't think I'll have much choice about working full time all year. After all, someone has to feed the youngin'. Thank goodness it only takes $26 to care for a rabbit for three or four months. The other youngin', however, will be off to college in eight months and someone will still have to provide food for her.

4. Get Out Of Bed
In the last two months, after I wake up I have remained in bed until after noon or until about six minutes before I have to leave for work. What's the point? Sleep is so good and my bed is relaxing. However, I have been increasingly tired lately no matter how much sleep I am actually getting. If I could get out of bed and see the pretty sunlight that shines down to earth I might just soak up some energy! My guess is that this whole having no mom thing is finally taking its toll. The good news is...

5. Lo Needo Libido
Something has gone right because my libido is back! I know you were all interested. I have been putting it to good use lately, and it will eventually lead to my having sex with Fork because that was just meant to happen. Plus, orgasm = happy pill, so who needs to see a psychiatrist when all you have to do is focus long enough to orgasm? YOWZA!

6. Have Sex With Fork
Even though it was mentioned, I feel the need to separate it because it is that important. Speaking of which, I recently learned there are over twenty three types of forks. I will do them all!

7. Have Fun
2008 sucked. It began with some forty year old guy telling me he had feelings for me(creepy), the beginning of hundreds of trips to various hospitals, high gas prices that drove me into debt again, and the beginning of heart break. Midyear consisted of things only getting worse, treatment not working, terrible work hours that led to no time for family or friends, the end of what was a great relationship, and the first of five important deaths. The last few months brought the year to an end with a bang. Obviously the loss of Maja Lady, bankruptcy, Pretty Bird being on it's way out, and a three more deaths of close friends and family. I want to have fun this year. I want nothing to hold me back. I am going to have to make that possible.

I am pretty much hoping to start out fresh. The sad thing is, while I want to start out fresh at the beginning of a new year, most of the crap from the previous year is still cycling through so I'm stuck finishing all of the pending events. That's okay. That just means I have to work harder.

LET THE GREAT EXPERIMENT BEGIN!