Rumfork Sages

Yet again I woke up hungover this morning, trying to figure out what damage I had done to my relationships after another night of just too much drinking. This time was actually less damaging than most, other than that tremendous post right below this one, but I thought a fun thing to do would be to go back through time and look at the things I've done while drinking that I had to apologize for the next morning.

Called my ex's mother - We were still together, but what the hell? Thank god she didn't answer, otherwise...well fuck.

Sent my ex's mother a facebook message - Again we were together, but I said we should throw her a party or something. I need to be removed from all forms of communication while drinking.

Told various women I had feelings for them - I think a lot of it is to see their reactions. Still, it's not a nice thing to do. Good thing I haven't done that to spoon otherwise she might read this and leave the site and I'd be all alone posting again.

Tried to pick a fight with some guy - I was drunk and being a dick to everyone, and while walking down the street I leaned into some guy and totally shouldered him, followed by turning around, throwing my arms out and going "WHAT?! WHAT?!" It is not a wonder that I did not sleep in bed with my then girlfriend that night.

Drove to Del Taco while on a cell phone with expired temporary plates and a worn down spare tire - This one is actually impressive. I mean come on...all those issues and I didn't get caught? I rule.

Called my ex in the middle of the night - She actually believed "I rolled over on the phone and hit redial." Dumbass.

Had phone sex while blacked out - I literally woke up the next day wondering if I had made it through. Apparently I did.

Recorded an awesome song called "Murda Fo Ya Ho" - White suburban kids doing satirical rap. Did this with a friend when I was 17. Amazing song.

Caused a toilet to overflow without anything in it - I don't know how I did this but it was amazing. My poor ex had to clean it up. I feel bad for that part.

There are of course many things I am not proud of that I did while drinking. I think I've wronged a few people and was mean a couple times and in general just wasn't great. I do wish I could go back in time and fix my mistakes but I think in the end, the point is learning to live with the past, and to not make the same mistakes again. Luckily for me, the one I hurt most while drinking was also a terrible person to me, so I don't really think she deserves any apologies.

C'est la vie.