Rumfork Sages

So earlier today I was all I'M GONNA DRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKK so I did. I am on my 348th beer. It's pretty tiring.

I am in love with so many actresses, but above all else, Zooey Deschanel. I want to marry her, even though she is almost 7 years older than me. So what? Like I care, fuck you. I've like, actually started referring to her as my girlfriend. You can ask my friend Rachel, I've done it so much that even she refers to her as my girlfriend. That's what's up.

So earlier I went to buy beer, and then I got some Wendy's for when I was lit up as fuck. I am lit up as fuck but I have not eaten Wendy's yet. Why? Because I am not a communist, fucker.

My friend just told me she didn't know who Fuel was. I'm like, you know Shimmer. We all do. Cuz it's like that. Fuck Fuel, seriously.

Kim knows all my favorite lines. Thank her for that.

Girl you know i like when you climb on top, love muscle feel tigheter than a headlock, and you know i love the way you make the bed rock, take me to ecstacy without takin ecstasy.

Woo!