Rumfork Sages

Friends, hours ago I told you I would bring someone on board, and I have fulfilled that promise. Introducing The Great Spoon! In addition to writing ridiculous posts like myself, Spoon will be illustrating our upcoming web comic. In order to give you a glimpse of who Spoon is, I have interviewed her. Following is the transcript:


Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
so, why did you join rumfork.com

Kellizaber says:
I was forced by a group of native americans

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
did they make you their tribal princess

Kellizaber says:
No, they tried to make me get their firewood

Kellizaber says:
I'll tell you exactly what I told them

Kellizaber says:
Squaw no gettum firewood! Squaw go home!

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
that is wonderful racism that all rumfork readers will enjoy

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
what do you think you will bring to our fabulous rumfork.com?

Kellizaber says:
lol

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
or do you not intend to answer that

Kellizaber says:
I'm thinking

Kellizaber says:
Hold your horses

Kellizaber says:
I'd like to give them some insight on what retail is like today while also bringing them some humor and possibly some extra cheese knowledge that they wouldn't be able to get elsewhere

Kellizaber says:
Some drawings perhaps

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
what do you think about horse sex

Kellizaber says:
Hot damn, get me some of that

Kellizaber says:
Although I find elephants make better partners

Kellizaber says:
It's like a fifth leg

Kellizaber says:
Or maybe that was a fifth leg; that would explain the strange shape

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
slutty thong, or long underwear covered by wet suit covered by dollar general smock?

Kellizaber says:
Slutty thong covered by smock actually

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
do you hate the movie twilight as much as i do

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
to clarify i have not seen it

Kellizaber says:
I do, mostly for the acting but also for the bloopers and terrible music

Kellizaber says:
And partially for the terrible portrayal of vampires

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
but you'd nail that kristin stewart girl right

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
because i would

Kellizaber says:
If she could possible make a different facial expression I might

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
who are you more attracted to: kim kardashian, or chris farley

Kellizaber says:
One minute while I google the faces of these unknown

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
GOOGLE IS A TRADEMARK OF GOOGLE INC THANK YOU INTERNET

Kellizaber says:
Oh right, just one unknown

Kellizaber says:
lol

Kellizaber says:
My mistake

Kellizaber says:
I used Kellizaber.com instead

Kellizaber says:
Better anyway

Kellizaber says:
Hmm...This is a tough one

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
RUMFORK.COM DOES NOT NECESSARILY SUPPORT THE VIEWS OF SPOON OR HER AFFILIATES

Kellizaber says:
I'm going to go with Chris Farley

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
do you prefer to masturbate with your right hand, or the cast off candlesticks of 1970s suburban america

Kellizaber says:
Anything is better than using my right hand, so the latter

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
what is your greatest attribute?

Kellizaber says:
My knack for being prepared

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
what are you currently prepared for

Kellizaber says:
Scarcity of aluminum, plastic bags, spoons, and four month long movie marathons

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
thank you for your time, Spoon, one last question

Mr. Swag - Black Jesus says:
what are you wearing

Kellizaber says:
Nothing, as usual



So there it is! As you can see, Spoon is quite ready to be a part of this website. You can expect a lot more fantastic features such as this one. Be sure to tell everyone you know that there are now TWO insane people who masturbate while they post writing for this website!