Rumfork Sages

Well, it's about that time of the year again for us college students: the time when we finish finals and wait around, sometimes nervously, for our final grades to be posted. Some of us know we did everything as well as possible and that there is nothing to be concerned about. Some of us are very worried, needing a particular grade to keep the 'ol GPA up and not get kicked out. Me? I'm kind of different.

I put in about 6 minutes of work outside of class this semester. I didn't really take notes, I didn't really read the books, I didn't really do all the homework...and yet I am going to have a 4.0. Now, I know I am not the only person to do something like this (and believe me, helping me obtain this 4.0 is the fact that my math-for-morons class does not count towards my GPA), but I do wonder if it bothers other people when people like me so obviously coast by, while they have to work.

I suppose they could view the potential poetic justice. I may coast by and get my grades, and then fail in the workforce, while Johnny Doeshismath will prove himself worth to his employer and become a cruicial cog of the American Industries. I've always wondered about the relative use of someone who is incredibly intelligent but lazy, vs. someone who is not that intelligent but works incredibly hard.

Take this semester. By nature of me not being in school for years, I got placed in the aforementioned Dumbass Math class and as an additive to this was forced to attend a so-called "math lab" for 25 hours over the semester in order to gain tutoring and whatnot. There was also an optional software that came with our books that allowed us to do the math lab work online.

I spent a grand total of 3 hours in the actual math lab all semester and then came down to the final night with 22 hours to get done. I certainly could not go for 22 hours as it was due the next day. So, I downloaded two extra web browsers, opened up the online math lab in each one at the same time, did the homework very poorly (like 50% poorly), and let them sit for hours. Thus every hour I earned doing this was worth 3. I did this enough to get just over 22 hours and then I turned it in. Yesterday I learned I had in fact passed the course.

What's amazing to me is that the hours I turned in were timestamped. As in, they could see I did all this "work" at the same time and that I was triple charging the hours, if you will, and yet they didn't do anything about it. It's genius. I intend to share my method with anyone who would like to hear it so that other people will not be forced through the embarrassment of the mathlab.

Another thing that happened was my history class. I missed about half the classes, barely took notes, didn't read, and yet I got an A. How? Memorizing the quiz questions, and an open book/open note final. Seriously? Open book? That shit is great.

My other grades are yet to come, but I still find this concept interesting. Maybe I'm really good at figuring out ways to avoid following the system, but what does that translate to in reality? I have been in the work force and let me tell you, it ain't pretty when I am. I can't wrap my head around the idea of being just another drone inside a corporate giant. Mind you, I am not against corporate America, or people being drones; I am against being one of them myself.

I suppose in the end, most people would rather have the dilligent, nonstop laborer working for them than someone like me. Sure, in crunch time, I may be able to produce a great report in mere hours, but can you always count on someone like that?

I mean...you can't count on me. Shit man, I've got things to do. Like hunt me some womenz!