Rumfork Sages

I got drunk last night and posted this on Craigslist:

"lets fuckin date and shit - 22 (lakewood)

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Reply to: pers-948195490@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-12-06, 11:18PM MST

i bet you are awesome. you know what else is awesome? me. do you know why? because i am druuuunnnk. i bet you are druuuunnnk too cuz its saturday. people like to drink on saturday, am i right? fuckin right i am.

you know what i like? i like curvy girls with big asses. i am obsessed with that. skinny chicks with no body and A cups should just fuck off, okay?

you know what else? im fucking overweight, okay? im not some fucking ripped bitch who spends all his time combing his hair trying to compare himself to a fucking abercrombie ad. i do not now and never have worn hollister lame ass shit, and if you like the kind of guys who wear that shit, which, by the way is made for women and if you disagree with me you are wrong, and...to make the point i was trying to make, i never will.

i like video games, sports, cigars, drinking, and gambling. dont like it? great, dont fucking email me. you know what i want? i want someone who is fucking real, who recognizes that no one is fucking perfect, and that all we can do as people is try to adjust what we do within our own comfort zone to make our significant others' happy.

if you think this is ad is ridiculous, don't even e-mail me; you're too stupid to see reality anyway. intelligent women are all i want to hear from. men have been fucking narrowed down and discriminated to shit on this site by you women who post ads; guess what, it's time for the reverse. no uptight, annoying, unitelligent, hollister wearing, killers listening, paris hilton obsessing bitches need apply.

fuck you. if you think this is funny, email me."

Best. Post. Ever.