Rumfork Sages

I once ran for student counsel. I did not win, because I did not secure the core 5th grade vote: those in favor of expulsion of those without pokemon cards.

Distressed with my loss of political office to a purely media based caused, I enlisted a female friend of mine to be my new campiagn manager for the new political party I was forming, the Rule Really Hard and You Suck party. We ran on one platform, with one plank: I'm really cool, and you suck.

My female friend did a very good job of winning over the children (she got some creepy guy to give them candy from a van) and it seemed that my 11 year old friend had in fact gained enough crayon signatures for a referendum.

When we found out there would be a new election, we went out and celebrated with several juice boxes. Then, suddenly I was 25 and I couldn't remember what had happened but I was sitting there drinking juice boxes with my female friend.

I was all, hey, nice rack, and she said thanks and put down her spice rack so that we could put some pepper on our sandwiches. Then it was new orleans and I saw like 9 breasts because this woman who had breast cancer in one boob had it removed. It was cool.

So my female friend and I decided to get married. So we worked on wedding plans, but didnt agree on anything. She wanted a 7 piece orchestral band, and I wanted to hang myself instead of getting married. She wanted grilled chicken in a lemon glaze and I wanted Del Taco cheeseburgers. So nothing really was working.

So we decided to elope instead, but the problem was that neither of us knew what eloping met. We compromised and ate some cantalope instead, while riding a jackalope.

then we were living together for 7 years so we were common law married, and she moved out and took half my stuff. but all of my stuff was on fire so that sucks for her because then she was on fire.

so, as you could guess, we live together now, happy ever after. we are worried about the student counsel election coming up though because that fucking mormon kid made rice krispy squares.