Rumfork Sages

Friend: his latte art was great at work today
Me: what in the assfuck is latte art and is it something that is going to piss me off
Friend: it's just how they pour the milk into the espresso
Friend: they're supposed to pour a cerrtain way so there is a design on top instead of just like, foam
Friend: but apparently they're hard to get perfect, and he is like almost as good after just a couple months as the boss's son who has been practicing for years
Friend: it's not like he draws pictures in the lattes

Maybe I am a simple person. Maybe I am ignorant of art, or just ignorant in general. Perhaps I don't think on the same level as other people. Any of these could very possibly be true, and I don't discount them.

But seriously, what the fuck?

Who in the hell looks at a cup of coffee and judges it by how the foam is poured on top? Does the way the coffee tastes actually matter to these people, or is it purely about aesthetics? Sounds great to me, I'll open a coffee house, brew with instant coffee but make sure the foam on top is swirled in such a way that it looks as if the universe is contained in that foam! Sure, once they sip it it's destroyed and all they have left is a horrible cup of coffee, but they will remember the amazing foam pattern layered on top of the coffee.

What the hell is wrong with people? I swear to "god" shit like that is happening more and more in this country. Food is perfectly organized on a plate, as if I'm not going to tear into it. When I order a steak, I do not care about the garnish; it is in my way, I am going to eat this cow, stop throwing garbage on my food. It's not just food; it seems that aesthetics are more and more important in places that they shouldn't be. Now I know we all like to dress nicely and drive a nice looking car, but please follow me on this one: PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY UPSET ABOUT THE WAY THE FOAM ON THEIR LATTE IS SHAPED. Please read that sentence again.

More and more things like this are happening that make me feel completely disconnected from everyone else in this society. A few years back, a law was passed in California (I believe in San Francisco) that required that on legal documents, people be referred to as "pet guardians" and not "pet owners." California is in the middle of a monster financial crisis and these morons are seriously telling us that we don't own pets, that we just take care of them. This makes me want to eat a wider variety of animals; cats, dogs, ferrets, mice, and guinea pigs are all now my meals because I'm going to steal them from you pet guardians.

Doesn't anyone in this country just live a day without worrying about the most politically correct mundane nonsense anymore? I can't wait until eating animals is outlawed in this country; I'll be labelled a terrorist for slaughtering cows in front of PETA headquarters, and I'll be sent to the mental institution as I laugh my way into death, when no one has said anything funny.